Terry Marzell relates a story that demonstrates that, in the classroom, words matter. Photo credit: Terry Marzell.
Is there any teacher today who isn’t aware that, in the classroom, words matter? Critical or negative words can totally crush a student, and that sting may last a long time. On the other hand, the uplifting or positive words we use can create the most wonderful results. These results may last a lifetime in the ear, the head, and the heart of the recipient. So it’s worth giving some extra thought to the words we choose.
When choosing words, I try to remember to ask myself whether voicing those particular words will bring comfort or joy to the listener. I remember once a parent conference I had with the mother of one of my seniors who was not doing well in my class. The course was required for graduation, and the mother was fraught with worry that her son, the eldest of her children, wouldn’t pass. Clearly, she had been self-criticizing herself mercilessly for some time. She had convinced herself that she was a failure because her son was struggling.
“My mother was such a good mother,” the lady told me. “My father had left the family, and my mother raised six children by herself, all while working full time. And she did such a great job of it,” she continued disconsolately. “I only wish I could be as good a mother as she was. I wish I could be like her.”
After a moment, I responded, “You are a good mother in your own way.” Instantly the parent leaped to her feet, threw her arms around me, and thanked me profusely. Her response surprised me at the time, but when I thought about the exchange later, I realized I had expressed exactly the words she needed to hear at that moment. I had chosen my words well.
This caring and dedicated mother became my ally until the day I retired. And her son did pass my class and graduate with his class. I never saw the young man again, but the mother came to visit me periodically, giving me updates on how her son was faring out there in the world. I truly appreciated these updates.
Words matter. They matter so much more than we realize. So, no matter who you are or who you are talking to, try to make your words inspirational and hopeful.
